525,600 Minutes... How do you measure a year?

I used to absolutely hate that song! When I was a majorette, several teams would do routines to that song, and it always got stuck in my head. But as I sit here and try to think of a title for this post, it was all I could of. Here we are... a year later! 525,600 minutes...how do you measure a year?

I can remember standing by my dad's bed around 3AM Monday morning. It was the first time we were able to see him. The doctor's had told us that his body couldn't handle surgery yet, so we had to go up to ICU to see him. Me, my sister, Grandma, and my dad's siblings were the first to go back. As I stood there looking at my dad's broken body hooked up to machines and wires, I closed my eyes and just for one second wanted to fast-forward one year. I just wanted to know how it all would play out...would he and Michelle live? Would they ever walk again? And here we sit a year later... wow. We did it. We have lived it! Dad has fought so hard and he has come so far. It is so surreal to know how different today could have been for us. Today could have been a day of grief and sorrow. If dad would have died on November 4th, 2012, today we might have visited his grave, looked at old pictures, or stayed in bed all day. However, today we wake up and I am able to call my dad. Tonight we are going to dinner at his favorite - Cracker Barrel - to enjoy the fall decorations and time with each other. Today is a day of rejoicing!!! We have been given another day, another year with him, and even though it has been a year full of trials and tears, it has also been a year filled with victories and memories we will never forget!

I say this to you all from the bottom of my heart, as well as my dad's and my entire family... thank you. Thank you for your prayers, your hugs, your cards, your food, your donations, your kind words, and your willingness to walk with us down this road. We will never forget the things each of you have done for us. When I began writing updates on my facebook about my dad, I had no idea it would lead to a blog with nearly 4,000 views and meeting people we probably would have never met otherwise.

This year would not have been possible if it had not been for God's faithfulness and healing power over my dad and Michelle. People question whether or not God exists, and my dad is living proof of his miracles. Even the doctors have been amazed at his recovery. There is no other explanation other than that God was not finished with him yet. What satan meant to destroy, God used for HIS good!

This year also would not have been possible if it had not been for the two people (Jeff and Rhonda) who stopped that night and saved my dad and Michelle's life, the paramedics and emergency first responders who took such good care of my dad and got him to the hospital safely and swiftly, Dr. Sadasivan who fought so hard to save him and catered to our every question with kindness and gentleness, the nurses (Sadaf, Renee, Becki, etc.) in the ICU who made sure me and my family were taken care of and were aware of everything that went on, the therapists at Shands Rehab who pushed my dad and worked so hard to get him home before Christmas... The list goes on and on. All of these people played a crucial role in our lives and my dad's journey - THANK YOU.

And of course, this year would not have been possible if it had not been for my family. My wonderful, loving, supportive family. Mom, Makayla, Grandma, Aunt Joy, Uncle Mike, Uncle Daniel, Aunt Michele, Uncle Pooh, Aunt Hollie, Gini, and Amber... dad couldn't have made it without you. I could not have made it without you. My family stepped up to the plate and handled finances, paperwork, moving, and so much more so my sister and I could focus on dad and taking care of him. You each will never know how much I appreciate all you have done.

This year has held many of our darkest memories, and many of our greatest days. Call me morbid, but I like to go back and read mine and others facebook posts from last November. It reminds me of all that God has done in our lives. All of the prayers that went up, the obstacles that were overcome, and the love that was poured out on our family. I have learned not to measure my years by the achievements I make or by the amount of money or success I earn. I don't measure my years by what I can gain. I now measure my years by the laughter and memories I have made with those I love, and I measure them with celebration and thankfulness for all that God has blessed us with.

Okay... enough of the mushy-gushy stuff. ;)

As many of you read on my facebook, we have something exciting to share today!! Over the past several weeks we have a friend who has worked on creating a video for my dad to use to share his testimony. He showed it for the first time this weekend at a men's conference he spoke at, but we had seen it just a week or so before then. It is amazing! I get chills every time I watch it. We are all so excited for you all to see it today. Please feel free to share it and pass it on! Our prayer is that it will encourage and bless each person who sees it, even if their situation is different. The message is the same - we are never alone. The video is posted below along with a link if you aren't able to see it on here. :)

I just wanted to end this post by saying thank you to my dad. Thank you for teaching me, Makayla, and many others what it means to truly have faith and persevere. You have amazed us with your determination and will to live your life and take take hold of the gift you were given. There is no one else I would rather have as my dad and walk me down the aisle next year. You truly are my hero!

Once again, thank you all for following along with us on this journey. It has only just begun. :)

Blessings ~
Shelby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Y78_hQzmDU&feature=youtu.be

As One Grows to Understand Life Less and Less, One Learns to Live it More and More.

Whoa! It has been way too long since I have posted an update! My apologies :) I started school in August and I'm also working and planning a wedding, so it can get a little hectic! Dad is doing great. He is still working full time and going to therapy. He is currently in the process of getting his "second leg." They are trying to make him a more comfortable socket, since his stump is so short. He has definitely mastered the crutches, though! I can barely keep up with him on those things!! Dad really is doing amazing, considering it has only been 11 months since his accident. Life truly does go on - and we are trying to keep up! :)

A few years ago I opened my fortune cookie from the local Chinese takeout restaurant here in Starke, and it simply stated the above title. "As one grows to understand life less and less, one learns to live it more and more." I saved that little piece of paper and I actually have it on my memo board on the door to my room to this day. A few years ago, that phrase had a totally different meaning to me. My parents were separated at the time and I was struggling with trying to have faith despite all that was going on around me.

Now, a few years later, I read that worn piece of paper with a totally different outlook. 

People always refer to life as a book; words, sentences, paragraphs, pages, and chapters filled with stories, memories, pain, and laughter. I sometimes wish I had enough time to literally sit down and write a book about my life. Oh the things I would fill  it with! And, oh the things I would choose to leave out... :) 

Out of the hundreds of random thoughts my mind comes up with every day, I've been thinking about that one a lot... Life. Books. Stories. I am slightly a book nerd. Well, actually I'm a huge book. I love to read! Books are a different world I get to escape to for a little while. Sometimes the books are sad, happy, confusing, long, suspenseful, exhilarating, scary, and euphoric. And sometimes, when you get a really good one, it has all of those in one. I'm sure that many of you remember in school learning about how to write stories. There's an introduction, plot, climax, conclusion, details, etc... All of those come together to create a story. 

If your entire life was written in a book... What would your story tell?

We never know when our book will shut, when the last words on the final page will be written. Perhaps some are just reaching the climax of their story. Some stories are just beginning with their first breath, or others may be approaching their conclusion and the infamous "The End" phrase. 

If my life were a book, I feel like up to this point in my life, my chapters would be based on the stages of my life. My first chapters would be my childhood, which was filled with so many happy memories. What I would give to be able to go back to those days and that innocence! The next few chapters would probably include things like my little sister's birth, September 11th, my dad getting deployed, and my first baton lessons. Then my middle school days... I try to block those out as much as I can. I hated middle school! I think it's safe to say those would be short chapters. :) High school was awesome. I have so many good memories with my friends. Of course high school holds the memories of my first kiss, my first heartbreak, my salvation, mission trips, Friday night football games, homecoming, staying out past curfew, and so many more. Looking back on my life up to that point, I can say that there's nothing I would change. My life wasn't perfect, but it was pretty darn close.

After high school.... that's when it got interesting.

I feel like as soon as I graduated from high school my world was flipped completely upside down. My parent's divorce, the economy taking a huge toll on my family and house, and beginning my battle with depression.

All of us have asked this question - "WHY?" Why did this happen? Why did they do that to me? Why haven't I found the answers yet? Why do bad things happen to good people?

I have to be honest, I've asked that last one quite a bit recently. We learn the word "why" very young. We feel like we are entitled to an explanation. But like that fortune cookie said, as we grow up life will become more and more confusing, so the best thing to do is just live it with all you have. The question why is no longer about why we have to eat our veggies or why we can't go to a friend's birthday party. The "whys" become even harder to answer. Why do people have to die? Why isn't there a cure for cancer? Why can't I find a job? Why can't my husband and I get pregnant?

I live in a small town, and usually things are pretty quiet. But it seems like recently if has been hit after hit after hit. Last month I was getting dressed to go to a funeral for a man I had known ever since I was a child, and he was a special person to Starke - Judge Johnny Hobbs. As I was putting my shoes on, I received the news that a friend and coworker of mine had died while giving birth to her first child, a baby boy. I literally could not catch my breath. WHAT?! How could this happen? Why did it happen? In the weeks that followed, things didn't get any easier for our community. A shooting rampage in Lake Butler, the loss of a 3 month old baby boy, a soldier killed while stopping to help someone on the interstate...

So much heartache, and why is it happening to such good people?

As the 1 year anniversary of my dad's accident approaches, and with all that has been going on, I've gone back to that night and the days that followed many times. It's not an easy place to go back to, and the memories it holds aren't exactly peachy. The day after the accident I was a complete basket case at the hospital. I was so nauseous, and overwhelmed with what was going on. I would go back to see dad and have to leave within 5 minutes because I was sobbing so hard. WHY is this happening? WHY is this happening to MY dad? He is such a good man and he is fighting for his life! That night my sister and I stayed in a hotel in Gainesville so we could be close by in case anything happened. Makayla passed out as soon as she laid down, but I knew when I laid down, it wasn't going to be pretty. I was right, because as soon as I put my head on my pillow I began sobbing and screaming into my pillow. How were we going to do this? Would my dad make it through the night? How am I going to be strong? After an hour of this, I finally calmed down, and simply prayed.... "Lord, I can't. But YOU can." At that point I kind of gave myself a good slap in the face so I could pull it together. The whole situation was out of my hands. I had no control over it, and the only one who did is the some person who created the stars, and He was holding us in His hands. The next day when I went to the hospital, I went to my daddy's side and grabbed his hand. I looked at all of the tubes going down his throat and nose, his missing leg, the ventilator screen showing each breath. Yes, sometimes bad things happen to good people, and we may never get the answer to the question WHY... But I truly believe - and my dad feels the same way - that God allowed this to happen to my dad because He knew my dad was a fighter, and that He would glorify the healing power of our Savior.

Notice I didn't say God MADE this happen to my dad - he ALLOWED it. As children of God, He will never leave nor forsake us, and we never have to fear the punishment and judgement of God - that was settled on the cross. The devil is the one who roams around like a roaring lion seeking whom he can devour. He wants to steal, kill, and destroy. As I realized this, I became stronger in my faith and understanding of the mysterious ways of this life. I feel like this all ties together in our story we call life. From our very first page, our lives become a story. That story will involve happy times and sad times, and in those moments of struggle and trials, we learn that we will never really understand life, and we may never even be able to understand our story until we reach the end. As one grows to understand life less and less, one learns to live it more and more. I now hug my loved ones a little tighter. I say, "I love you," more often. I try new experiences because I never know if I will have the opportunity to do them again. I slow down and watch the sunset. I sing a little louder, laugh a little more, and forgive a lot quicker. Why? Because I know that I will never understand, and I will never be in control. I will never have all the answers. I will never know if the conversations with people will be their last - or mine. I will never know.

I'm not totally delusional. Every day is not peaches and cream for me. I'm human... I cry, I get angry, I make mistakes; but I try not to base my happiness on the bad days. I have laughed until I've cried, I have traveled to Europe, I have experienced accomplishment and success, I come home every day to so many blessings. I hope that as you read this blog - whoever you may be - that you can realize that no matter what you are facing... there is ALWAYS hope.



What is your story?



Blessings ~

Shelby

Hello World, How Ya Been?

2 Months?!?! Really? It has been 2 months since my last post! Life has been crazy busy lately, and to be honest, I haven't been inspired to really write about anything. I heard a quote a few years ago when I was writing a paper for school by Plato that said, "Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something." I never want this blog to be a place where I just post aimless ideas with no substance. I want the topics I discuss and the stories that I tell to be words of encouragement and thought-provoking. However, at the end of the day if I can minister to one person, it is all worth it. Thank you for reading along with me and experiencing this "new normal" with us. My blog has now reached 2,790 views, which is INSANE! I am so humbled by all God has done and continues to do in our lives. My cup overflows. :)

Wow, where to begin? A lot has happened in two months! Dad is finally back at work full-time, and his stump has healed enough for him to begin therapy again! Dad's new therapist has worked with amputees before, so he really pushes dad and pours himself into his work. Dad even said he has started making him walk with a cane instead of his crutches! That may not seem like much, but it is a big deal! At the end of the day, dad is slap worn out! He is always busy, but now that he only has one leg, it's twice the work. I am still amazed at his spirit and his constant determination to keep going. He has truly touched so many lives, and it is all thanks to the ultimate Healer who has poured out his blessings on my dad. Every time I think back on that night on November 4th, I can't help but tear up at the many battles God led my family and I through, and the battles He carried my dad and his broken body through. God is GOOD! During the month of June I traveled to Tennessee to work at a youth camp, and then when I came home I had my wisdom teeth removed. So I was gone from dad's and staying at my mom's during that week. Before I left for the second week of camp, my dad and I were at dinner with my little sister, and he started to talk in that "serious" tone...y'all know what I'm talkin' about! He then told me that he wanted me to move back home to my mom's. Not because he didn't want me to live with him, but he knew how much I missed my home, my bed, my cat, my bathroom. He told me that he is now able to do pretty much everything on his own, and that he genuinely wants me to start staying at my mom's. Now, that's not to say that I won't stay over there some nights and help him out when he needs it. Even though I was happy to be back at mom's in my bed, I still had a good cry. I think I will always be that way. I hate change, and even if it's good change, I still have a hard time adjusting! I'm starting to think God is trying to teach me something... :) As many of you have heard, I was accepted into the Dental Hygiene program at Santa Fe College. I am beyond excited to start this chapter (and get school over with - ha!), but I am extremely nervous. As I opened my letter, my mom and sister were standing with me and my dad was on speaker phone. When I read the first sentence that said, "Congratulations on your acceptance into the 2013 Dental Hygiene program at Santa Fe College!", my dad began to cry on the phone. I am so thankful that he is here to experience these moments, birthdays, holidays, and milestones. We are so blessed!

Three years ago I started working at a camp through Rick Coram Ministries called "PowerLife." I attended PowerLife years ago in 2004, but I never thought I would ever come back years later to work on the staff! Thanks to my friend, Kasey, and an awesome letter of recommendation from Bro. Charles Warren, I was offered an opportunity that many apply for! Now, fast-forward 3 years and if you did your math right, this was my 4th year working at PowerLife. I honestly wasn't sure if I would be able to go this year due to all that has been going on over the past several months. But God opened the door and I was able! PowerLife is a student camp for students 6th-12th grade. We have one week in June that takes place in Johnson City, TN, and another week in July in Winnsboro, SC. The weekend before the second week there is an adult conference in St. Simons Island, GA. The staff at PowerLife is literally like a family that has a reunion every year. Many late nights are spent catching up with everyone and soaking up every minute that we can together before we have to go home.

Going in to PowerLife this year, my heart was heavy and my soul was weary. I have never spoken out about this subject, but as you all are walking and reading with us, I have prayed and feel like someone needs to hear this story, and how God will truly never forsake you. In the fall of 2011 after my parents first separated, I slowly began falling into depression. I knew something wasn't right with me. I would stay in bed all day, toss and turn all night, and have nightmares frequently. I began not answering my phone and never calling people back. I shut my family out and quit reading my Bible and talking to God. I let my mind become consumed with negativity and lies. This went on for months, and I hid it from everyone. In January of 2012 I had an anxiety attack at work. I had no clue what was happening to me until the doctor told me it was an anxiety attack. I was scared and mad at the same time. Scared, because I didn't realize how serious this was, and mad because I had let myself get this bad. So at that point, I decided to fight. I began fighting my depression and waking up every day determined to not let it define me. I pushed out Satan's lies and trash with God's truth and word. After months of struggle, I was finally starting to feel like Shelby again. My relationship with my parents was starting to heal, and I was finally accepting the divorce and that I had to find a new normal. I met Shane and I started to let myself be happy again. Next thing you know....BAM! Dad's accident. While many may think that the events of those first few weeks would be enough to send me over the edge, they didn't. I drew closer to the Lord and felt his presence and peace more than ever before. Instead of pushing God away, I begged Him to draw near. I begged him to carry us through, and He heard our cries and answered our prayers. We saw miracles performed and lives changed. When dad came home, many know that I moved in with him to help take care of him. I was also in school full-time and working part-time. My life was non-stop, so that daily routine of waking up and preparing myself to fight my depression was put on the back burner. When a person is diagnosed with depression and overcomes it, unfortunately they struggle with it for the rest of their lives. So all of a sudden, my depression symptoms came back and blind sided me. I didn't understand! Why?! Why now? Although my life was crazy, I had so many things going for me. But this time, I was realized that I had to say something. It wasn't healthy and I knew I needed help on how to deal with this. I only have my AA in psychology, but I did learn a little bit from those two years! I sat my parents down and explained to them what was going on and that I had made an appointment with a Christian Counselor at FBC Jax in Jacksonville. It was emotional for all of us, but they showered me with love and support. Alllllllll of that is to say that, going into PowerLife, I was worried about being away from home, but I was so ready to see the staff and my other "family." As soon as I got to PowerLife, so many came up to me and hugged my neck, and the first things they asked me was, "How is your dad?!" Several stopped and just looked me in the eye and genuinely asked, "How are you?" Those words meant more than they will ever know. The theme of the camp this year was "I Surrender." We studied the lives of Noah, David, and Mary, who all surrendered their lives for something greater. God worked on my heart throughout the weeks and I knew I had to surrender my depression, my anxiety, my fear all to Him. If I held on to them, I would miss what He had for me. I came home with such a clarity and new outlook on some things. And not to mention, I had the awesome opportunity to lead my little sister to the Lord during week one! It was amazing and definitely a moment that I will never forget. Overall, between the two weeks of camp we saw a total of 111 students saved and surrender their lives to Christ! How awesome is that?!

During week two (July 15-19), what ministered to me the most was the music. Ever since dad's accident, music has found a home in my heart, and I came to a point where music is more than just words and instruments. Words come alive and speak in ways that nothing else can. When we sing praises to our Father for all He has done for us, our soul cries out we are given a small glimpse into what Heaven will be like. We had some awesome musicians there, such as Daniel Crews, the Jason Cox Band, No Other Name, Danny Orteli, and Erica Branch. They all are talented and have such a huge heart for the Lord. The Praise Team is compiled of some amazing musicians and singers, and it is led by Kirk Ayers. Last year Bro. Kirk sang many songs that helped me through dad's accident, and this year he did it again! I truly believe God used him and the praise team to minister to my heart and soul through their songs. Just about every night I would eventually have to mouth the words because every time I would sing, a big lump would catch in my throat as I realized the words we were singing were our lives wrapped up in a 3 minute song. I'm funny about crying in front of people, since I am an ugly crier, and I also feel so vulnerable. But there are times when I think we all could use a good cry, and I definitely got a few of them. I just want to take a few minutes to share with you the lyrics of some of the songs that spoke to me...

"You Never Let Go" - Matt Redman
*Danny sang this song one night, and even though I heard it years ago, it was the first time I heard it in a long time, and the words have a totally different meaning now.*
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
Your perfect love is casting out fear.
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life,
I won't turn back I know You are near.

I will fear no evil, for my God is with me.
And if my God is with me,
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh, no, You never let go.
Through the calm and through the storm.
Oh, no, You never let go,
In every high and every low.
Oh, no, You never let go,
Lord, You never let go of me.

I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on,
A glorious light beyond all compare.
There will be an end to these troubles, but until that day comes,
We'll live to know You here on the Earth.

I will fear no evil, for my God is with me.
And if my God is with me,
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh, no, You never let go.
Through the calm and through the storm.
Oh, no, You never let go,
In every high and every low.
Oh, no, You never let go,
Lord, You never let go of me.

I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on,
and there will be an end to these troubles, but until that day comes,
still I will praise You; still I will praise You.

Oh, no, You never let go.
Through the calm and through the storm.
Oh, no, You never let go,
In every high and every low.
Oh, no, You never let go,
Lord, You never let go of me."

"Never Once" - Matt Redman
*I had never heard this song until PowerLife, and it is truly our lives over the last 8 months. Thank you, Bro. Kirk, for following the Lord's voice and bringing this song to PowerLife.*
"Standing on this mountain top,
looking just how far we've come,
knowing that for every step, You were with us.
Kneeling on this battleground,
seeing just how much You've done,
knowing every victory, was Your power in us.

Scars and struggles on the way, but with joy our hearts can say,
Yes, our hearts can say...

Never once did we ever walk alone,
never once did you leave us on our own.
You are faithful, God, You are faithful.

Kneeling on this battleground,
seeing just how much You've done,
knowing every victory, was Your power in us.

Scars and struggles on the way, but with joy our hearts can say,
Yes, our hearts can say...

Never once did we ever walk alone,
never once did you leave us on our own.
You are faithful, God, You are faithful.

Scars and struggles on the way, but with joy our hearts can say,
"Never once did we ever walk alone!"
Carried by Your constant grace,
held within Your perfect peace,
Never once, will we ever walk alone!

Never once did we ever walk alone,
never once did you leave us on our own.
You are faithful, God, You are faithful.

Every step we are breathing in Your grace,
ever more we'll be breathing out Your praise,
You are faithful, God, You are faithful.
You are faithful, God, You are faithful."

As we prepared to pack up and head home on Friday, Bro. Rick pulled all of the student servants into a private room. He just wanted to thank us for all of the work we do, and to pray with us. This year many of us knew that this would  most likely be our last year working at the camp, including me. As Bro. Rick began to talk about change and some of us moving on, I was overcome with emotion, and as he prayed over us and got choked up himself, I couldn't stop it... Yes, I cried in front of people! Haha, it is rare that I do that, but like I said, sometimes crying isn't a bad thing. I left PowerLife anxious to get home, but longing to be with my PowerLife family again. I am so thankful for the 4 years I have been able to serve at PowerLife. I'm not sure how next summer will play out, but I know that if it is God's will, I will be able to go, and if it's not, He will shut that door. But I just wanted to close this blog by thanking Bro. Rick for welcoming me and for loving on me. Thank you to all of the staff for how you have loved on me through some dark times in my life, and for being an example of what the body of Christ should look like. I love each of you!

Now that I have finally caught up, I am hoping to get back to blogging regularly. We'll see how that goes... :)

Blessings ~

Shelby

You Can't Repeat the Past.

Hey everyone! Happy Late Mother's Day to all of the mommies who read my blog :) and to my mommy, who in my opinion is the best one out there!

I just have to take a minute and say thank you to all of you who have been following along with my blog and thank you for taking a few minutes to sit down and read my crazy ramblings! My blog has had over 2,350 views in just 2 and a half months... That is WAY more than I ever thought! I truly hope and pray that this blog ministers to someone or touches someone's heart as they read. Maybe you're experiencing a heartache that has nothing in common with our heartache, but you can relate to the emotions and frustrations that we are experiencing. Or maybe you or someone you know has been injured in a motorcycle accident or might be an amputee. Perhaps your life is going great and it just makes you happy to read along! Whatever the case may be, thank you for traveling on this journey with me. It really means a lot to know that so many care about what a young small-town girl like myself has to say!

Dad is doing really well! Mentally and emotionally he has recovered from his fall, but not quite physically. His stump is still VERY swollen and sore. Tuesday he went to his prosthetic doctor and even he was not too happy with dad's stump. This week will make three weeks since he has been able to do therapy, and that is no good! The other night he told me that it makes him so mad to see his new leg sitting against the wall and he can't do anything with it. Yesterday he went to the after hours clinic at OSMI, which is where he goes for his check-ups with his surgeon. There is no fracture, and they gave him some medication to help with the swelling and pain. Please be praying for dad and that he will heal quickly so he can get back to walking!

Dad is also getting ready to start back to work full-time instead of part-time. He loves his job and where he works, and we are so fortunate to have their understanding and support. I have had many people who have asked me where dad works. He started working at Gulf Coast Supply in Alachua just a few months before his accident. From the start, it was evident that their company had a great group of people with great integrity and truly cared about their employees. The night before dad's accident he told me and my family about a possible promotion to outside sales in the near future, and he was ecstatic. When the accident happened, of course the thought of bills and money scared me, because there was no way I could pay for them on my own. And what about the future? Would they still keep dad's job? Then one day when we were in the ICU, one of dad's bosses came to see him. My uncle talked to him for a bit and then he came and sat down with me and told me that they loved my dad and that whenever he was ready, his job would be waiting on him. I just busted out crying in the waiting room because 1) that weight was lifted off of my chest and 2) I was overjoyed by how loved my dad was. They continued to visit dad, and right before dad was released from rehab, they bought him an iPad for Christmas from the company. Needless to say, my family and I LOVE Gulf Coast Supply, and I'm just throwing this in for free... if you ever need any metal, roofing supplies, etc, Gulf Coast is where you need to go! They have great Christian values and they are a great group of people, including this cool guy named Barry. ;)

Now, it is time for some more of my crazy rambling... Hehe. :)

Last Saturday, Shane and I went and saw the new movie, "Gatsby." I have not read the book, but I really enjoyed the movie! I thought the special effects were awesome and as always, Leo DiCaprio was as handsome and debonair as ever. The next day I started thinking about the movie and the message it wanted to get across to the audience. To me, that's how you know you've seen a good movie: when you leave with something that you didn't expect. From the previews, I expected to see a passionate love story, extravagant parties, and a happy ending. Without ruining the movie for those who plan to see it, let's just say I didn't see all of those things.

When I thought the movie was about to go in a certain direction, it would pull a u-turn and go somewhere else. Overall, I left the movie thinking about the past. The entire movie revolved around the question: can you repeat the past? Can you change it? Unless you have a time machine, you cannot change the past, but.... can you repeat it? That question and idea has been cooking in the back of my mind ever since.

Everyone always tells us that we shouldn't regret the past because everything happens for a reason and we learn from it. I can't speak for anyone, but I know that for myself, I do. Yes, I learn from my mistakes and better myself, but that doesn't mean that I don't desperately wish for a remote control that I can use to rewind to past decisions and change the outcome. Looking back, I have made decisions that have literally changed the course of my life. And there are some that I'm not sure if I will ever forgive myself for making. There are people that I have hurt, bridges I have burnt, memories I have erased, and tears that I have shed that I wish I could change. I'm not sure if you've ever heard the song "A Lot of Things Different" by Kenny Chesney, but I will never forget hearing that song and crying when I heard the line, "People say they wouldn't change, even if they could... Oh, but I would."

I have desperately tried all throughout my life to hold on to the past and keep wishing for another chance. I sometimes felt as though I was watching others get chance after chance after chance, while I sat in the background just waiting for my second one. Over the years, holding onto things in the past left a bitterness in me; a feeling of anger for things not going the way that I wanted them. I can remember praying to God, so selfishly, knowing that if it was His will, it would have happened.

Then there are times when I'm thankful for the past. I'm thankful for memories with friends and family, and yes, even for some of the mistakes I made. Some people hold on so desperately to the past,  as if it's the only thing keeping them afloat. I've been there, and it is not a fun place to be. It's hard for our fragile minds to truly understand that the past is the past and all we can do is move forward. I don't know about you, but I don't handle change well, which is kind of funny when you think about it because our world is changing constantly. The only thing that has remained consistent in my ever-changing world, is the unconditional love and grace from the One who holds the pen in His hand and who knows every pain and joy I will experience. He holds my future, and that means that nothing can catch him by surprise.

So, even though I may regret things in my past, I can't change it, and I can't repeat it. No matter how I try. Like Gatsby, he had to learn the hard way that things change, and we can't live in the past. So rather than dwelling on it, I move forward. I choose to look ahead. With change, there comes a new normal. for example, when my parents got divorced, my world was shattered and the normal I thought I new, became awkward and forced. Eventually, as time went by, my sister and I had to let go of the past and begin adjusting to a "new" normal. While it wasn't the normalcy we wanted, we realized it was either sink or swim. As we began to heal and adjust, dad's accident happened. Once again, our world was shattered and the normal we were beginning to become familiar with became foreign, and our lives were in limbo. Now, we are once again having to adjust to a new normal, but this time, I welcome this new normal. Compared to the one I was adjusting to a year ago, I must say that this one is much better. Relationships are stronger, past hurts are forgiven, and our faith has been tested and proved. I look forward to the day when I can look back on this time and smile, because I will know that it was the catalyst that set in motion a stronger future for my family and I. Who knew such beauty could come from the past?

Blessings ~

Shelby

P.S. - Just for fun, I thought I would post some oldies ;)

My dad, sister and I in 2005.

Dad and Makayla - look at that grin!

Makayla and I 11 years ago.

Dad and his overalls...

One of my favorites!

Dad and I after climbing Stone Mountain...maybe one day we will do this again! :)

6 Months Forward, 6 Steps Back

Hey everyone! It's May! Anyone know what May is...? May is motorcycle awareness month! Challenge yourself and those in your family to be more aware and watch for motorcycles! In my dad's case, he would still have his leg. A couple of weeks ago, some friends and I went to the Clay County Fair. I was driving in my car down SR 16 through Penny Farms, which is a 2-lane road. A couple of motorcycles pulled out in front of me, so I slowed down and got about 50 yards behind them. I then watched in shock at how one of them literally road right next to the center line!! Almost like he was daring someone to hit him! The cars coming the opposite direction were having to ride on the shoulder to miss him. Then I got MAD. I'm talking smoke-coming-out-of-my-ears mad. I started begging God to let him turn into the fair grounds so I could give him a piece of my mind! But God knows better than I, so the guy didn't turn in when I did. So instead, I asked God to make him get over or get off the road. We need to be aware of motorcycles, but motorcycle drivers also need to be aware of cars. The night of dad's accident the car came across the center line and by the time dad and Michelle saw it, it was too late. Help save a life!

May also means it's the end of the semester! Wahoo! I'm looking forward to a few months without tests and homework. :) I will be applying for my program this month as well, so there are lots of exciting things going on! Please be praying for me as I get ready to apply and endure the long three months of waiting for a response. :)

When a person goes through a storm, just because the rain stops pouring doesn't mean the damage has been repaired. It's like the calm after a tornado comes through. You're thankful that the worst part is over, but just the thought of the clean-up that will have to take place is enough to send you over the edge. That's kind of how I have felt over the past couple of weeks. Today is six months since dad's accident. SIX MONTHS! I can remember sitting in his hospital room just wishing that I could fast-forward six months. And now we are here! Dad has come so far along over the past six months, and I couldn't be more proud. But... that doesn't mean that the damage that has been done to him or our family has been fully repaired.

As some of you know, on April 16th my boyfriend's dad had to have emergency open-heart surgery for an aortic aneurism. It was a very scary process, but after a few days things seemed to be getting better. Then one Tuesday night when I got off of work, it was around 10pm, Shane called me and told me that they were taking him back for exploratory surgery due to him having a fever of 105, and they couldn't figure out what was going on. So they were going to have to go in and try a hands-on approach. I immediately took off for Gainesville. Mr. Danny's room is in the North Tower at Shands (the old side), but my dad's was in the South Tower (the new side). When I got to Gainesville, Shane said that they would be doing his dad's surgery in the South Tower. When I got there, Shane and his family were still across the road, so they told me to go ahead and go to the second floor waiting room. As I sat in those chairs, it felt as if I had never left. Like I was still waiting on that November 4th night for the verdict. Would my dad live or die? I could remember each surgery that we sat in those comfy leather seats. When Shane's family got there, we waited for a couple of hours and then finally the doctor came out...and it was the SAME doctor that operated on dad the night of his accident! Earlier that day, my dad had the chance to meet him and several ICU nurses when he was there visiting Shane's dad and a friend of ours. Small world, right? Shane's dad pulled through the surgery, but they were still unable to find the problem, but he began getting better again. A few days later I was back over there and he had just gotten the ventilator out. As I stood there in his room...hearing the beeping machines, seeing the hundreds of wires, watching his  monitor, I got sick to my stomach.

I then went to the bathroom and sat down and began to sob. Sobbing at the memories. The nightmares that haunted my dreams for weeks. Sobbing at having to watch his family experience the feeling of helplessness that I became so familiar with. Sobbing because I feel like I will never leave Shands UF, and that someone I love and care about will always be here. After I had my little "moment", I wiped my eyes and stood up - determined to be strong for Shane and his family. Throughout all of this I have tried to let them know that they are not alone, and that I am willing to fight through this with them.

*Side note - please keep praying for Mr. Danny. He is still struggling to heal. I know his family would greatly appreciate the prayers.*

All of that is to say, we may be six months ahead. Six months further from a time I never want to experience again. Six months closer to a day when things will one day be normal again. But there are days when I feel six steps back. Like that night in the hospital with Shane's family. My mind and heart are still healing from those images and long days and nights.

Dad also had his first nasty fall last Sunday... Last weekend we were out at the lake celebrating my birthday, and we were staying in a little cottage out there. On Sunday I had to go into work for a few hours, so my mom and my sister were outside while my dad was inside watching a movie. He drove his Jazzy (his electric scooter) over to the fridge and got a drink and then drove back over to the couch. When he went to stand up, his shoe slipped on the tile floor. His stump literally caught his fall. The bone hit right against the tile and his butt hit the footrest on the scooter. The drink busted so he fell in some glass. Thankfully, my mom was right outside and heard him yell for her. He's okay, but it definitely shook him up. His stump started swelling the next day and he is very, very stiff and sore. Needless to say, we have all been a little more careful and cautious when it comes to him getting around. I can tell it really scared dad, to the point where it took him a little bit before he would walk with his crutches. But he is doing better and he is being a trooper, as always. :)

It's moments like those when I am reminded how we still have healing to do.  Emotionally and physically, especially with dad. Dad has defied so many odds that were against him, and he still is. But he is still having to face a drastic change and loss.

My mind is constantly in a million places. I'm always thinking about school, work, dad, Shane, life, painting my toes, and more all at the same time. So that means that I am forgetting things more often than I used to. I understand people may get frustrated when I forget little things, or don't think about things as often as I should, but there are times when I just want to scream! I am sure that many of you can relate, if you have ever been through something like this. I don't necessarily always want to scream at them, but more at me. I become frustrated with myself, because in my mind, I should be able to do everything. I am superwoman and can handle everything going and then some. But then, when I have to face the reality that I can't do everything and I can't handle all that is going on around me, it hits me like a ton of bricks and I feel like I'm suffocating...

That's where God's amazing strength and peace comes in. I see the beauty in the fact that I can't do things on my own. It reminds me that I am a weak human, who serves a mighty God. The same God who spoke the Earth into existence, is the same God who speaks to my broken heart. The same God who knows the number of stars in the sky, knows the number of hairs on my head. A couple of years ago, I got a tattoo on my wrist. It was a little spur-of-the-moment thing, but it I wanted it to have meaning. It is simple, just two black sparrows. I never would have known how much it means to me today. Many of you have probably heard the old song, "His Eye is on the Sparrow." At the time I got this tattoo, I was going through so many changes in my life. Changes with my parents, friends, and school. It was then that I wanted to be reminded every day when I looked at that tattoo, that every day, every second, Jesus is watching over me. Matthew 10:29-31 says, "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." For those who have not heard the song, here are the lyrics...

"Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear;
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me."

Beautiful...right? On those days when I feel six steps behind, I begin humming this song, and become determined to not let satan steal mine or my family's joy. 

Speaking of joy... Last Saturday, dad broke out his new KNEE for all of us! It was awesome, and yes, there were some tears shed as some saw him walk for the first time. Many have asked why dad hasn't taken his leg out in public, and that's because A) It wasn't technically "his" yet and B) He can only walk on it for a short amount of time. It is still very painful, but as time goes on and his leg becomes less sensitive, he will be out there showing off for sure. :) Here is a picture of him and my Aunt Joy (his sister), and my cousin Gini (Joy's daughter):

These moments also help us go another six steps forward... We are moving forward baby steps at a time. These past six months have been difficult, to say the least, but I can truly say my dad, sister, myself, and our family have experienced such a deep love for one another that I don't think we would have been able to experience otherwise. I can't wait to see where God takes us in the next six months! Thank you for those who have supported us these past six months, and here's to many more!

Blessings ~

Shelby

Thank You.

I am so very sorry for not having a new post for the past few weeks! Life has been so CrAzY busy lately that I barely have time to eat or sleep. April has been a busy month so far, for dad and I both. Dad started back to work part-time, and he seems really happy to be back in the groove of things. His prosthesis is moving along nicely, he has been trying out several different "knees" to see which best suit him and his needs. It is a very painful process for him though. His stump is very short - pretty much just enough to even have a prosthetic leg. So it sits right on his pelvis and his butt, so it is definitely taking him some getting used to. As time goes on, his stump will shrink and become less sensitive, so with time it will get easier. Right now he has been using his crutches, and he's fast!! His balance is really good and he has gotten to where he can almost do everything on his own. It makes me so proud to see how hard he is working and how positive he has remained throughout this whole process.

April is also my birthday month - whoooooop! The big 2-2. I have been reflecting on the past year of my life, and my my my what a crazy year. I took a semester off from school and finally decided what I wanted to do for my career, I traveled to Italy and London and I saw and experienced things that people only dream of. I went on an 8 day cruise with one of my best friends, I had the privilege of being a bridesmaid in two sweet friend's weddings. I went on a date with this guy I knew from high school, and he ended up being the love of my life and one of the reasons that I made it through these past few months with my sanity. I started back to school with a new outlook and determination, and then BAM! Dad's accident. It is so true that your life can truly change in an instant. I quickly realized that life does not discriminate when it decides to drop a bomb on someone. 21 has held some of my best and worst memories and days. I cannot believe how quickly it has flown by. As I approach 22, I can only hope and pray that God will continue to keep his hand on my family and our lives and we continue on our journey....

Which brings me to my next point - each of you. I'm pretty sure than 99% of you don't know this, and my dad doesn't even know this, but from the night of dad's accident and beyond, I have been keeping a book of names. Names of people who text me, who called me, who came to the hospital for the first week that dad was in the hospital, who brought us food, who gave us money for gas and bills, who wrote me on facebook, who responded to the scene of the accident, and many more. There is NO possible way I could track down each person individually, because there are many who I don't even know personally. So I'm sure there are some names that I will miss, but despite how long this blog will be, I wanted to list each of your names on this blog post and say THANK YOU from the bottom of mine, my sister's, and my family's hearts. It may not be much, but there is not a day that goes by that I do not think of the many people that surrounded us and prayed for us through our darkest days. Even if it was just a text or a facebook post, or a silent prayer - we felt each of them and can never say thank you enough.

So, let's get this started! First, I want to thank the people who saved my dad and Michelle's lives - Rhonda and Jeff. If it had not been for God placing them on that road at that time, there's no telling how long it would have been before someone drove by, and my dad and Michelle would have most likely died. Looking at the "medical" facts, they should have died. But Rhonda and Jeff sat their own fears and problems aside to take care of them, and that is something that I will never be able to say thank you enough for. Some may not know, but minutes after dad's accident, Rhonda and Jeff pulled up to the scene of the accident. At first, they just saw the car that hit the motorcycle, and didn't even know that there were others involved until a few seconds later Rhonda heard people crying out, "Help! Helps us please!" Those cries lead Rhonda and Jeff to find my dad and Michelle and call 911. They tried to remove my dad's belt to use as a tourniquet, but due to his pelvis being broken, they couldn't even unbuckle it without dad crying out in pain. Then they remembered they had a bungy cord in their van, and they wrapped it around his leg until help arrived. They listened to my dad and called the people he told them to call and remained calm. A day or so after the accident, Rhonda found me through facebook and shared with me the story of her finding my dad. A couple of weeks later they came to the hospital and we finally got to meet face to face. As soon as my dad's eyes met theirs, they both began to cry and embrace each other, as if they were life long friends. It is a moment I will never forget. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of them and their bravery. They are our angels, sent by God to save dad and Michelle, and my heart will always hold a special place for them. Thank you Rhonda and Jeff, you are the reason why my dad is still here with us.

Next, I would like to thank the man and woman who stopped and helped Rhonda and Jeff. To this day, we have not been able to track them down. We have asked everyone we can think of who was there that night, and no one remembers them or who they were. Perhaps they were angels sent to help Rhonda and Jeff. I suppose we will never know, but I am hoping that maybe this blog will reach them and they will see this and know that we are thankful for them and their help in saving my dad and Michelle's lives.

Thank you to the men and women who responded to the 911 call that night and came to the accident. I have tried to compile a list of the names and departments that responded, so I hope this is everyone. If I don't list your name or your department, PLEASE message me and let me know so I can post it.

Bradford County EMS- 

Dylan Rodgers
Jim Marburger
Alan Hunsinger
Stuart Brandrick

Cody Johnson

Heilbronn Springs FD- 

Terry McCarthy
Tommy LaFollette
Paul Rodgers
Ernie Williams
Dylan Gault
Steven Goodman
Brandon McCarthy
Mike McKenzie

New River FD-
Dean Bennett
James Balcolm
Andrew Eaves

Union County EMS-
Joel Haas
Mike Pitmann

911 Dispatcher-

Frankie Krol

I understand that this may be an every day thing for each of you, just doing your job. But to my family and I, you each are extraordinary and so brave. The combined efforts of each of you played such a big role that night. The doctors and nurses bragged constantly on how well you took care of dad and Michelle and transported them. They said they knew you took your jobs seriously and truly cared about their lives - which means more than you know. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I hope I can one day shake each of your hands and hug your necks for being ready and willing to do whatever it takes.

I also want to thank the deputies who escorted the ambulances to Gainesville. Each one who blocked intersections and helped get my dad and Michelle to the hospital as quick as they could. Although I don't know all of your names, I hope you each know how much that means to us. I also hope I can one day shake your hands and hug your necks.

Next I want to thank the people who came to the hospital the first week or so after the accident, and including the night of. The people who came and sat with us in the waiting room, cried with us, and prayed with us. And also for bringing us a lot of krispy kreme dougnuts. :) Please keep in mind that after the first week or so, I couldn't keep up with names and I started back to school so I wasn't there all day, so there may be some names that I miss - PLEASE let me know if I miss your name so I can say thank you!!
First off, my family - Mom, Grandma, Uncle Pooh, Aunt Hollie, Zachary, Uncle Daniel, Aunt Michele, Sommer, Alana, Aunt Joy, Uncle Mike, Gini, Dave, Amber, Sophia, Uncle Doug, Aunt Kathy, Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Cindy, Uncle Kevin, Aunt Donna, Casey & Jason (and girls), Heather (and kids), Clint, Shannon, Shane, John Khune, Dylan Khune, Aunt Christy, Courtney Martin, Trace, Kaylyn Beck, McKenzie Beck, Wendy Barnes, Taylor Barnes, John & Missy Strickland, Uncle Marshall, Aunt Carolyn, Linda, Jennifer McKenzie, Carson, Jessica & Justin Mccelhenny, Hailey & Alley Mccelhenny, Mamaw and Papaw, Doyle and Brenda Thomas, Danny & Kristen Davis (and Ryan).
Our friends - Charles Warren, Kasey Warren, Clint Williams, Kim Warren, Logan Johnson, Laci Smith, Debbie Smith, Kaitlyn Fitzgerald, Joy Johnson, Becki Zelnar, Ron Denmark, JoAnn Denmark, Perry Nicula, Gayle Nicula, Evan Denmark, Rick Norman, Denise Norman, Matt Stafford, Charity Pittman, Randy Pittman, Joy Stafford, Maggie, Fred & Marlene Stafford, Rick Ward, Cindy Ward, Jay Eaves, Vicki Eaves, Doug Ashley, Sherry Ashley, Ryan & Brittany Rhoden, Carolynn Cragg, Lisa Prevatt, Jenna Rowland, Bryson, Samantha Balkcom, Leslie Balkcom, Charnelle Whittemore, Mike Whittemore, Carrie Crews, Stephanie Human, Sam Griffis, Dale Prevatt, Tim Huggins, Alan Kerr, Sandy Darden, Wyvonna, April Mitola, Don & April Kelly, Justin Kirksey, Melissa Kirksey, Hannah Bolton, Matt Dyal, Ray Bowen, Ken Mullikin, Amy Mullikin, Danny Parmenter, Debbie Parmenter, Margret Sirmons, Loren and Debbie Boone, The men of the 3/20th Special Forces (Dad's old unit), Tracy & Suzanne McCree, Terry & Lamar Anderson, Barry Bolton, Laura Nicula, Meaghan Parmenter, John Culliman, Regina & Kristapher James, Linda Wilson, Betty Cassel, Lara Gabriel, , Maxie Norton, Tricia Clark, Karen Clark, John Clark, Richard & Debbie Sapp, Dad's boss/coworkers (sorry, I never got all of your names!).

Thank you to Mr. Rick Ward and Alan Kerr for arranging a hotel room for us for the first week after dad's accident. It was so nice to be right by the hospital in case anything happened. Thank you for being so thoughtful and for doing that for our family!

Next Up... Facebook. Like I said earlier, these are the names of people who posted on my wall and who messaged me. There is no way I can see every single person who made a status about my dad (unless they tagged me in it) or who wrote to him, my mom, my sister, etc... So please know that I appreciate EACH of your posts, even if I don't know each of your names. Heeeere we go....

Thank you - to those who posted a status update: April Mitola, Stephanie Griffis, Maria Herbert, Megan Sweat, Jenna Rowland, Sheila Stockdale, Lynitra Jeffers, Jenna Hewett, Terrisa Griffis, Heather Bowen, Mamaw, Gwen Crawford, Savannah Chastain, Karen Jackson, Karen Crook, Nicole Knight, Pat Lawson, Megan Seals, Abbie Clark, Katie Willingham, Marrissa Greenwell, Stephanie Swanz, Aunt Hollie, Brittany Rhoden, Charnelle Whittemore Realty, Veronica Harris, Amber Hersey, Gini Solano, Heather Jackson, Wade Williams, Liz Davis, Kristie Luther, Carol Plant, Kristen Davis, Debbie Smith, Samantha Balkcom, Linda Lee, Ken & Gayle Weaver.

Thank you - to those who private messaged me: Rebecca Bennett, Meghan Woods, Brittany Rhoden, Joel Haas, Terissa Griffis, Shelly Bowen, Don Kelly, Debbie Smith, April Lee, Nathan Thornton, Samantha Reek, Mandi Lamonda, Brenda Jones, Kaitlin Williams, Stacey Hendrix, Jane Greene, Lori Mann, Erin Smith, Jean Hardee, Carol Plant, Curtis Crawford, Jaren Sapp, Janet Harrell-Hilley, Jamie Darden, Robin Peeples, Heather Clouser, Heather Loucks Phillips, Tammy Boone, Allison Hayes Lunn, Shannon Ellington, Emily Riggs, Stefanie Wiggins, DaNita Dowdy, DJ Riddick, Matt Stucky, Lisa Brannon, Hannah Tucker, Krista Ryan Smith, Hillary Crews, Lisa Tatum, Freddie Stephens Jr., Kaci Tetstone, Casey Hays, Tangela Pittman, Matt Steffen, Heather Green, Kellie Converse, Shelby Ezell, Marjorie Morton, Tommy Hilliard, Heather Padgett, Kimberly Brooks, Chelsea Nugent, Loretta Carter, Connie Mitchell, Leslie Johns McGee, Julia Rippinger, Harry Hatcher, Garhett Wilson, Kristian Thurman, Shannon Whitaker, Berenice Romo Galindo, Beth Rutherford, Stephanie Swanz, Linda Peterson McAlister, Randy Dukes, Lisa Hicks, Sherry Ashley, Terri Johnson, Darlene Lee, Monica Kadlec, Karen Jackson, Cheryl King, Michelle Elliott, John Cooper, Laura Alligood, Kay Waters, Kim Wimpy, Kenneth Dewitt, Renae Sapp, Sissy Lee, Brenda Thornton, Michael Young, Morgan Casey, Karin Coolidge, Ken & Gayle Weaver, Liz Davis, Courtney Everson, Allen Davis, Ken Mullikin, Linda Bennett, Debbie & Loren Boone, Karen Crook, Teresa Faulkner, Diane Ennis, Sharon Norman, Jennifer Darley Brinkley, Francesca Leigh.

Thank you - to those who posted on my wall: Shelby Wring, Rebecca Wise, Stephanie Griffis, Dana Bell, Darah Saucer, Dana Napier, Corina Campbell, Malinda Pellechio, Maria Herbert, Kristie Luther, Karen Jackson, Robin Campbell, Melissa Kirksey, Matt Mullikin, Gwen Crawford, Debra Gay, Sara Shoup, Kaitlin Williams, Brittany Rhoden, Bethany Stockdale, Teddy Harkin, Sheila Stockdale, Shana Douglas, Courtnie Meier, Lisa Dampier, Erica Darden, Donna Tew, Janna Rae Reddish, Leslie Balkcom, Christina Shuford, Samantha Balkcom, Linda Garmon, Janice Lawson, Casey Crawford, Morgan Contois, Haley Norman, Sharon Norman, Brandyn Barksdale, Tricia Clark, Sweetpeas Shop, Kathy Minton, Keith Davis, Lorna Reddish, Wade Williams, Pam Lamb, Morgan Casey, Carol Starr, Terri Darden, Angie Bennett, Sandy Darden, Hannah Trainor, Dodie Sapp, Jessica Outlaw, Megan Seals, Kacie Darden, April Kelly, Kelley Worley, Jennifer Stucky, Monica Robinson, Sunoco Starke, Jared Chapman, Jami Stokes, Lori Davis, Emilie Jackson, Kayla Holsenbeck, Kena Little, Francesca Leigh, Rich Bennett, Mary Torode, Michelle Reid, Aaron Brannon, Kaity Prevatt, Stephanie Jones, Amanda Reed, Pat Lawson, Danny Davis, Kristen Davis, Don Kelly, Nicole Knight, Sarah Gay, Janelle Harris, Kassie Wiseman, Jamie Darden, Erica Reddish, Debbie Sapp, Jenna Hewett, Mabry Burch, Rose Sansing, Suzanne McCree, Linda Cubbedge, Abbie Clark, Carol Plant, Haley Anders, Glenda Bass, Katie Willingham, Kirk Ayers, Brittany Crawford, Melissa Arnold, Alena Sinor, Kristie Luther, Marissa Greenwell, Rhonda Williams, Kristen Coffey, Karen Jackson, Stephanie Swanz, Cindy Hilliard, Liz Davis, Candace Donley, Ashley Johnson, Brittany Rhoden, Heather Brice, Melissa Mains, Teresa Faulkner, Haley Norman, Shelly Bowen, Lilly Chappell, Courtney Cragg, Janelle Reese, Josh Prevatt, Debbie Williams, Kaala Bolton, Gloria Bragg, Bailee Peeples, Tracy Toms, Linda Wilson, Mamaw, Tiffiny Starling, Anne Conner, Angie Bennett, Terri Crawford Williams, Deaon Triebel, Michelle Duncan, Stephanie Clark Merrill, Laci Smith, Charnelle Whittemore, Sherry Stroble-Thomas, Carolynn Cragg, Beth Boone, Cathy Powell.

While dad was in the hospital and rehab we were flooded with cards from all over. From people who didn't even know us! It was insane. I tried to save every card and get every name of the people who sent us cards, but some got lost and there were some that I couldn't make out the name on them. For some, I only have a first name, since that was all that was listed. Either way - THANK YOU to each of you that sent us a card! Dad's wall was covered with cards, and that meant so much to him. He made me open and read every single card that came. My cousins (dad's nieces and nephew) made posters to hang up in the room, and they always made him smile :) so thank you Sommer, Alana, and Zachary. So here are the names of those who send us cards...

Cynthia Berry, Fred and Marlene Stafford, Robin Gay, Janice Cainel, Daren, Tracy, Caleb & Mikayla Mason, Aiosa Orthodontics, Kathy Medlock, Faye Hill, Stuart Branch - Sid, Keith, Jenny, Guy, Janet, Tom O'neal, Wendell Clark, Dago & Julie, Joanne and Wayne Douglas, Deanna Coleman and family, Jim and Jane Williams, Nicole Knight, Kristen Hatcher, Jenna Hewett, Jaime Lyn Register, Fred and Jackie Johm, Rick & Carolyn Cragg, Courtney Cragg, Candace Osteen, Marc and Harriette Jackson, John and Teresa Khune (Dylan and Annabelle), Aunt Mary, Jane and Jennifer, Ryan and Brittany Rhoden (and KJ), Brenda Harkin (Teddy and Matt), Jean Norman, Lynn, Mary Stephen, Pam Cangelosi, Linda Collins, Dianne Moody, Sharon Stucky, Gale Tyler, Jackie Johnson, Valaria Shuford, Marilyn Brooks, Pat, Ellen Harrington, Louise Lichtenburger, Mark & Tami Davis, Shane Parmenter, Brenda Thornton, Donnie Thornton, Jessica Thornton, Nathan Thornton, Nick Thornton, Butch and Carol Gross, Deaon and Jamie Triebel, Edward and Jamie Sullivan, Frank and Connie Mitchell, Catherine and Jerry Becker, Danny and Kristen Davis (and Ryan), Donny & Kim Brooks, Wilbur and Kay, Jerry and Pat, Wailon and Lisa, Roman, Jodie, Stella, Jackson, and Vera Izzo, Miss Minnie, Jeff and Rhonda Williams (and Hunter), Tommy and Lynn Miller, Aaron and Denise Matthews (Alexis and Dakota), Chad and Jennifer Farnsworth, Lori Mann, Diana and Wally Crowe, Dad's office: Dalton, Dustin, Ember, Brandon, Ron, John, Mark, Lana, Russell, Amber, John, Ray, Dianne, and Carmella.

For a month and a half, my family and I drove to Gainesville every day. So, needless to say, we spent a lot of money on gas and food. We also had to figure out how we were going to pay dad's bills while he was out of work. I would like to thank everyone who gave us money or gas cards to help us out with these costs and bills. I really can't thank y'all enough for this - it made a huge difference! Once again... There is no way I could get every person's name, since there were times I couldn't be at the hospital, and some gave money to my family members. But please know we are thankful for each person!!

Brenda, Teddy, and Matt Harkin, John and Teresa Khune, Richard and Debbie Sapp, Aaron and Denise Matthews, Minnie Redding, Doyle and Brenda Thomas, Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Cindy, Mr. Tatum, Rick and Carolyn Cragg, Chad and Jennifer Farnsworth, Ron and JoAnn Denmark, Vicki and Jay Eaves, Perry and Gayle Nicula, Ryan and Brittany Rhoden, Darlene Slattery, Deanna Coleman, Loren and Debbie Boone.

The night of the accident and for about the next week, my phone was blown up. No joke! I got so many texts and phone calls it was insane. But I have saved every text from people and they always encourage me. So, thank you to those who took time to shoot me a quick text or phone call of comfort!

Kaitlin Williams, Johnny Elasik, Brenda Jones, Wale Olaogun, Alyssa Van Den Berg, Madison Strickland, Samantha Clark, Jeff Stockdale, Taylor King, Brandy Caudill, Teddy Harkin, Cody Johnson, Logan Johnson, Tricia Clark, Nathan Thornton, Matt Dyal, Kim Warren, Alan Kerr, Veronica Harris, B.C. Crews, Rhonda Dalton, Kim Cogdill, April Mitola, Lara Gabriel, Megan Sweat, Kyle Dick, Julie Johnson, Danny and Debbie Parmenter, Joy Johnson, Olivia Masters, Stephanie Griffis, Abbie Clark, Kasey Warren, Courtney Cragg, Jacob Toms, Sara Fox, Jamie Ward, Barrett Cooper, Marissa Greenwell, Tracy Greenwell, John Spellman, Kaitlyn Luke, Keiara Sullivan, Ashley Bloomer, Jonathan Coram,Chris Williams, Autumn Cavey, Hannah Reid, Kaitlyn Fitzgerald, Gayle Nicula, Ashleigh Davis, Brittany Rhoden, Alexis Hickox, Doug Massey, Becki Zelnar, Samantha Balkcom, Tabitha Story, Stephanie Human, Charnelle Whittemore, Carrie Crews, Laci Smith, Ryan Story, Jenna Hewett, Jenna Rowland, Meaghan Parmenter, Terry Beck, Courtney Martin, Christy Beck, Kaylyn Beck, Wendy Barnes.

Now I just want to thank people for random things. Not really any "groups" of people. Just different things that people have done for us!

Thank you Mrs. Tricia Clark, Karen Clark, John Clark, and Laci Smith for bring us dinner to the hospital. It was DELICIOUS and it was so nice to eat real food and not food out of the vending machines. :) I love y'all and my family does too!

Thank you to Mrs. Valaria, Mrs. JoAnne, and the other ladies who brought us an amazing home cooked meal when dad got home from rehab. We enjoyed it so much and it was so nice not having to worry about dinner for one night while we adjusted to our new normal. :)

Thank you to Lisa Prevatt and Jenna Rowland for bringing us homemade lasagna! My dad and Shane have talked about that stuff ever since! It was delicious and we are so thankful for y'all taking time out of your day to do that for us. You guys are our family ~ Love y'all:)

Thank you to FBC Starke for the beautiful prayer quilt you made for my dad. I hadn't seen my dad cry since he woke up, until Mrs. Ann Davis walked in with that quilt. He was so overwhelmed with the love and support - it meant a lot to us. Along with the quilt was a letter that they had prayed for dad in their service with many people's signatures. And thank you for the community outreach and collection that you took up from our community. Thank you for showing your love for us in our darkest hour ~

Thank you to the First United Methodist Church in Starke for the gorgeous prayer shawl. On the card you sent us, it says, "May you be cradled in hope, kept in joy, graced with peace, and wrapped in love." And we certainly felt that from your prayers! Thank you!

Thank you to my boss, Charnelle Whittemore, for being so understanding throughout this process. For never hesitating when I needed off to go to the hospital or rehab with dad, for always showing me that you are more than my boss, you are my friend. And my coworkers! Carrie, Stephanie, Cathy, Keith, Debbie, Curtis, Tonya...you all have supported me and loved on me so much. What we have at our office is rare, and I am blessed to work with each of you.

Thank you to my girls ~ Courtney Cragg, Samantha Balkcom, Kasey Warren, and Abbie Clark ~ for getting my mind off of things and for making me laugh. We may not see each other as much as we would like, but at the end of the day I know I have you each to count on. Love you guys!

Thank you to Doyle and Brenda Thomas ~ our family and now our neighbors. Thank you for being such a blessing to us and for offering the house to dad. It has helped so much to have that ramp and shower. We love you guys so much!

A huge thank you to Loren and Debbie Boone - you guys have always been such good friends with our family, and for you to just step in like you did, means more than I can say. Loren and Debbie paid for my dad's electric bill while he was in the hospital - a huge weight off of our shoulders! Please know that we love y'all are are so thankful for you.

And now... let's see if I can get through this without crying (good thing y'all can't see my face!). I'm going to keep this short so I don't! Some thank yous for my loved ones ~

Thank you Shane, for sticking with me through all of my bad moods and crappy days - I couldn't have done it without you. I love you, sweetheart. 

Thank you to my wonderful mom - for being mine and Makayla's rock throughout all of this. A mother's love is like no other, and I am so thankful to have you as my mom. 

Thank you to my little sister - for being so strong. You were tougher than me! I'm so proud of you for how you have handled all of this and for making me laugh when I needed it. I think I'll keep you around. :)

Thank you to my Grandma, Mamaw, Papaw, Uncle Pooh, Aunt Hollie, Zachary, Uncle Daniel, Aunt Michelle, Alana, Sommer, Aunt Joy, Uncle Mike, Gini, Amber, and Seth ~ for just being amazing. our family has always been so strong, but now I feel like we are tied together with even stronger bonds. They way you each just stepped up to help in anyway you could has meant so much. Uncle Pooh, Uncle D, and Aunt Joy - siblings like you 4 are rare, and it is amazing to watch the love that is between you all and dad. Thank you for helping me with papers, bills, moving, and so much more. I really don't think there is a way I could every really say thank you enough, so please know that I love you all so dearly, and I am so blessed to call all of you my family. 

Once again, I'm pretty sure I have missed some people and some names, but please don't take it personally! There were a lot of names to keep up with! My family and I are so thankful for each of you who have helped us throughout this journey so far. And we are thankful for those who do not even know us, those who have prayed all over the country for us. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Blessings ~

Shelby

First Steps and Flashbacks

Okay folks - here it is. The day you have all been waiting for since last week's post. Today dad took his first steps on his new leg - and it was absolutely wonderful. But before I go into all of those details, I want to ask for prayer for a special couple to my boyfriend and I. On Saturday night, Shane and I got a phone call that Shane's best friend was in a four-wheeler accident and was being taken to the hospital. All we knew was that he was pretty banged up and unconscious. So we took off for Gainesville around midnight. When we pulled up to the ER, so many memories began to flood back, and as we walked in and asked the clerk where to go, as soon as I heard, "4th floor", my heart sunk. ICU/Trauma - dad's floor. I immediately began quietly preparing myself for going back to that place, and I then knew that his injuries were very serious. When we got to the floor, I was able to talk to his parents whom I have known for years, as well as his fiance. I tried to comfort them in knowing that they weren't alone, and I hope they felt that. As I sat in the waiting room quietly observing to myself, I began remembering so many things from those 11 days that dad was in ICU. I can remember every time I heard a door open, or footsteps coming down the hall, or seeing a nurse or doctor, just waiting for some kind of news. After a couple of hours, the doctor came out and informed the family that he was paralyzed. I was in total shock, and my heart broke for his family. As I watched them cry and pray, it was like deja vu. I can remember how there were no words that anyone could say that would ease my pain, and I knew there was no way to ease theirs. All I could do was pray, and that is what I am asking of each of you who read this blog. He is so young, such a funny guy who loves his fiance and his family, and when he does wake up he will face something that no one should ever have to face. Alan needs your prayers, and so does his family and fiance. I'm not going to go into all of the other details, but I just wanted you all to know who and what to pray for. God knows the details and the situation, and I am asking you to all please pray with me.

Alllllll of that is to say that today was a very bittersweet day. Knowing Alan was in the hospital, and then going to watch my dad take his first steps. It was an emotional roller coaster to say the least, but there was so much joy in my heart that this day had finally come. After four months of hospitals, rehab, therapy, wounds, pills, and stretches, our prayers and dreams became a reality. It was so amazing to watch the process of them forming his leg. A friend of ours that goes to church with us came today to video and take pictures. Mr. Victor is very talented, so we were all excited that he could be there to capture these precious moments! Finally, after we sat and waited for an hour and a half for them to put everything together, they walked in with dad's leg. Even though it was metal and plastic, it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

Before we knew it, Paul (dad's CPO) had him up and starting to take his first steps! It was so amazing to watch each step and to know how hard so many people prayed for this. As I sat next to my sister, I couldn't help but smile as we watched our dad stand at eye level on his own. What was awesome was that Paul let him take the leg home for practice! We still have a long road to go for him to learn everything he will need, but this was a HUGE step in the right direction. My family and I are so thankful for this day. Never take those that you love for granted - we are not guaranteed tomorrow. Sorry this was such a short post, but I have to go study for my Microbiology test tomorrow, and I knew y'all were waiting! Here are some pictures and video from today. :)

 Blessings ~

Shelby