Angels Among Us

First off.... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

This is my favorite time of year, and I am absolutely loving it! I love decorating our house for Christmas and going to all of the festivities...and I love seeing people come together and celebrate. In my home, we celebrate Christmas to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, and what better way to do that than doing what he commanded believers to do: love.

My inspiration for writing this post actually comes from a not-so-fond memory from my dad's motorcycle accident. At the time everything was so crazy and overwhelming. This story is one that many of you have probably heard bits and pieces of, or a condensed version. Some of you may have heard the whole thing from my family. I mention it, but I have never written in full detail what happened.

Many scientists, philosophers, authors, and researchers have gone back and forth until they are blue in the face about the existence of God, angels, and the spiritual realm. Do they exist, or don't they? If we believe demons exist, does that mean that there in another realm where angels must exist? Some say they don't believe in it; others say it's possible. Many people question the Bible and state that their reasoning is because we do not see miracles today, and angels are little cherubs that decorate nurseries and stand on our shoulders to tell us what's right and wrong. But this story puts all of that to rest....angels exist, and no, they don't wear all-white robes and feathery wings and sing.

The holidays are tough for a lot of people. For some, it's because they are missing loved ones. For others, it could be bad childhood memories, lack of finances to buy Christmas gifts, or they have lost the spirit of happiness and giving. But I think we all could use a little story about a miracle to lift our spirits, and it just so happens that I have one to tell! Okay, okay. I'll get started...

November 4th, 2012:

The night of my dad's accident, when I heard he had been hit by a car, I never gave any thought to what happened between the crash and him getting to the hospital. My uncle got to the scene as the ambulances were leaving, and all I knew was that someone called my uncle and told him about the accident. I just assumed that when the car hit them, they were the ones to call 911 and so on. And to be completely honest, on that night all I cared about was knowing whether or not my dad would live.

It wasn't until the night after the accident, on November 5th, that I met our "angels". I had just finished taking a Chemistry test online (yes, I should have listened to my professor and waited until things calmed down, but I'm stubborn) in the hotel room. That day we were at the hospital from around 7AM until visiting hours were over at 9PM. Countless faces came in and out of the waiting room and hugged me and my family and brought food and gas money. I was in-and-out of dad's room all day, even though I could only bare to stay in it for 5 minutes before I began sobbing. That day I also got to see Michelle for the first time, and the only way I can put that experience is that it still haunts my memory to this day. When she saw me, her face was the picture of pure terror and fear. She was still on the ventilator and had no idea what was going on. The doctors and nurses told us it would be best to keep dad's condition a secret, because he was still fighting to live, and they couldn't risk losing her too. As she gripped my hand and looked into my eyes, I automatically knew what she was asking. She wanted to know where was dad, was he alive? I looked back and told her that dad was fine and they were both doing great. She didn't buy it. She began to get sick and start trying to get up, and doctors and nurses started to flood the room as her monitors went off. I began sobbing as I ran down the hallway and back out into the waiting room. How could I lie to her? Needless to say, it was an emotional day that physically and mentally exhausted me. By the time I got to the hotel with my sister, she passed out in one bed and I was in the other. I was about to go to sleep when I logged onto Facebook to try and read the hundreds of posts from friends and family for prayers for my dad and Michelle. At this point I had received so many new friend requests, because I knew they just wanted to know what was going on with dad, so I accepted them all without really looking at who they were. So that night, I came across this post from a woman whose request I had accepted...

"Shelby, I hope this isn't an inappropriate time; but my husband Jeff & I were the ones who found your daddy (Barry) & Michelle. He had asked me to call his mom Sharon when I believe it was 'Matthew' who I spoke with prior to EMS or outside help arriving. It had taken place seconds to minutes before we had found them. It was something not even 22yrs of being a nurse could have prepared me for emotionally. It was an immense feeling of sadness, terrified and great helplessness. I think the only words I could keep saying were "I am so sorry, dear Lord, I am so sorry". And I know I'm probably not telling you anything you don't already know, but your daddy was the most level headed one between us! He actually seemed to give my husband and I comfort if that makes any sense to you. My husband did get ahold of Matthew I believe & he was able to give us an update. In no comparison to yours but we had a sleepless night & they were on our minds & in our hearts strongly today so we were so blessed hearing that God had held them both close to him last night. I know in difficult and unimaginable times we ask God "Why?"...and unfortunately we don't always get an answer, here, now on earth-but after seeing & reading all the wonderful love in his family & friends, I can't help to answer "why" it happened, but I can help answer "why" he is still here. God knew although he had accomplished more in his years than most people do in a lifetime, that his real work was not done here-he has beautiful daughters, family & friends that need him, love him and will be better people on this earth with him here. 

So any updates on them you are willing to share with us, we would be so grateful for that degree of comfort. I'm sure I speak for my husband as well when I say that we can't imagine a better ending to this tragedy than to be able to see Barry well and see him smile. God Bless you and your family & please tell Barry we are praying for them both, and we intend to collect on that wellness & smile!

You need anything, please do not hesitate."

My jaw was on the floor. Someone FOUND them?! It was on a dark county road that has a few cars go down it in a day; there's no telling how long it was before someone FOUND them! So many questions began running through my mind. I was literally shaking from reading her post. I then began crying for them, because they witnessed horrors that many people don't even dream of in their nightmares. I wanted to ask her so many questions, but I knew I probably couldn't emotionally handle the answers yet. A few days later we were messaging on Facebook when she told me her story. I want each of you to hear it like I did, so I will copy and paste the message rather than writing my own words. This miracle goes far beyond the night of the accident...

"Nov 1998 on my way to take my 15 month old baby boy to the pediatrician, we were hit head on my a fully loaded dump truck on a back road. The dump truck driver wasn't able to come to our aid for his own injuries, but a passer-by did stop. This as he said was "a horrific sight".  My head was stuck in the windshield, my right arm was broke, all my ribs were broken from the impact and my left ankle had been almost completely  severed off. This man, although he couldn't move me or get me out, he stayed with me, held my hand and talked to me. More importantly, he listened to me.  And I knew he might be the last person I would be speaking with, so I kept telling him my son was with me.  He kept saying "honey, you're alone, I don't see a little boy with you, are you sure?"  I insisted. But once the EMT's/FD arrived he had gotten pushed to the sidelines.  They cut the car open with the jaws of life and cut my head out of the windshield, then being able to lie me on the road.  Before my eyes had swollen shut completely I caught a glance out of my eye of the man calling out to me that I would be okay and he will find my family to inform them as he said he would.  As they were belting me on the gerny I kept screaming to him my baby is in the car! A couple EMT's said I was confused due to the head trauma and no child was with me.  The car started on fire on the passenger side and this man grabbed his extinguisher he carried in his truck and started spraying it and he yells "Oh my God!  There's baby shoes hanging down under the dash! Help Me! " (where the fire was) once they cut that side open they pulled his car seat out and it popped open like it had been inflated! With my perfect little man sitting inside...never crying, like he was patiently waiting to be found.

This man may have not been able to pull me out of the car or medically fix things but he listened to me, he stayed with me and out of everyone there who worked on me and made the rescue efforts, I have always held this man dear to my heart.  The basic humanity or compassion he showed me in what I thought were my last minutes here on this earth.

Every year in Nov. my heart & mind are strongly on him and the gift he gave me that day.  And as crazy as it may sound,  I had replayed those thoughts in my head as I had many times, just minuted before coming across Barry and the tragic scene. 

In that instance, I found myself in a similar circumstance as my "guardian angel" had once found himself in.   Could I do it? I thought...No, this is impossible, how can I...what can I....any sense of 22 yrs of medical I had was completely useless.  I was scared, scared to go up to Barry, scared to touch him, scared not to touch him. ( I told you once that Barry had such a calm collected sense about him & the situation...he put my husband and myself at ease as much that could be. ) Upon walking up to your dad, he's calling me to come to him, please that he was bleeding to death.  I was so overcome by feelings of fear & helplessness just yelling to my husband to please hurry & come, that I couldn't get Barry's belt off and just please hurry & come. 

Barry's big brown eyes looked at mine and he said "Its ok, just please, please you have to stop this bleeding or I will bleed to death. You can do it"  I was just a crying mess...saying "I'm so sorry, I cannot lift you to get your belt, oh my God,please please help us!"    And inside I felt that if I (we) were to be the last person he spoke to that I was going to listen to him. Hold his hand, rub his face/hair (which he has a beautiful head of hair I must add! heee.... and just let him know he wasn't alone and we had help coming.  So now I understand the importance that always was with the wonderful man who took time to stop for me all those years ago to make that difference that if I was to go, I didn't go alone. 

My personal tragedy came with, what at the time I considered "the end of the world" negatives.  In a brief moment, my life as I knew it had been taken from me and thrown back at me in little pieces.  Not only was I not able to perform any nursing duties for many months, I lost a wedding/formal dress modeling job I did on the side for fun/money (I'm not modeling 'height', it was more of a face/hair directed in conjunction to the dresses). My fiance of 5+yrs left me in the hospital because he said he couldn't bare to look at me that way because I used to be so pretty....that's pretty much an exact quote. Now, at that time my head/eyes/face were wrapped and with swelling I couldn't see, and no mirrors were allowed in the room to prevent any shock of the extent of facial damage. As as you can imagine, everything else that comes along with an injury such as that...I had to move in w/my sister/bro in law to be cared for/bathed/fed/ and to care for my young son, & meantime my home/animals had to be cared for. At the time all this seemed to be the end of my world, but much more positive came from all that.  A huge "superficial" image I had at that young age was redirected in a positive direction.  I decided 5-6 yrs ago to end the plastic surgeries, not do a brow reconstruction or tattooing....this was me, scars and all.  I haven't gotten used to allowing many photos of myself to be taken but its getting better after all these years!!! 

After 4 months in the hospital (and many surgeries) and after long debate, they decided that to amputate my left ankle/foot would be no longer a needed decision.  For approx a month I had no feeling from the waist down & of course at the time there are no guarantees...but as feeling came back & long physical therapy sessions blood circulation improved. Admittedly I've had to have several ankle surgeries since to take broken screws out, put screws in, ankle fusions and bone marrow transplants.  So it hasn't always been a easy road or painless road by any means, but I was still alive and most importantly my baby boy was FINE....a red mark on his right knee, that was all.  God is truly good. 

  

I know you feel so terrible & hurt for your daddy, you are an amazing young woman.  But, once sedation starts getting weaned down and his pain lessens, I believe he will to look at it the way I do;  "I don't care what happened to me, if I was in a wheelchair for the rest of my life as long as I could see my son grow up, to have just another day here with my family & friends."

Wow....right?! She hadn't even told me what happened that night, and I knew she was an angel sent by God. She went through a similar circumstance years prior, almost to the date! And it was that experience, and her training as a nurse, that helped her pay it forward and save my dad's life. After talking back and forth, I finally asked her a few days later for the story of what happened that night...

"We were coming toward the end of the driveway/dirt road, and as we approached the stop sign to the hard road, we saw a small car that appeared to have just ran off the road into the cow fence. (This is seconds following the accident).  We pulled on up toward the car to their driver door to be able to see in the car-an elderly man was sitting there, I believe slightly humped over the steering wheel;  he had both hands on the wheel. My husband asked if they were ok, and he said 'Yes, I think so, but go help the other people".  As Jeff asked this I opened my door to step out and only got a brief look at the passenger lady who had appeared to have hit her head on the windshield. I think an airbag had deployed so it was more difficult for me to see them than Jeff since he was on that side of the car.

Immediately upon opening my door, I heard what sounded like 2-3 people yelling to "help us! Please! Over here! help us".  (forgive me if any of this sounds at all grusome.) As I walked up toward the way I heard the voices, I saw Barry lying on his back, and I notice his leg was gone.  But as I walked up to him, he wasn't saying anything & to be honest I felt he had already passed, so I ran to Michelle who was yelling for help. I believe she managed to prop herself up like a sitting position and was begging me to move her leg that she felt she was sitting on or had landed on.  Among my uncontrollable babbling & begging for God to help us, I had to tell her that I could not move her, I was sorry but I can't move her leg, that I was a nurse and I just couldn't do it to prevent any further damage or pain.

When I heard a man yelling for help-I thought there was a 3rd person, but it was Barry. I told Michelle I had to go help him because he was really bad. I told her I was sorry & please hang in there, we had help on their way. As I came up to your daddy he told me to take his belt off & put it around his leg, I just cried & said Oh my God, I am so so sorry.  I can't, I can't move you. Barry said "You can do it! You have to do it or I will bleed to death". Now I am screaming to Jeff (who is still at the car because he doesn't know there are people they hit). I'm screaming for Jeff to come now, its bad and I need help, I can't do it on my own. I did try to get his belt off but he yelled when I unbuckled it and tried to pull it out. So I just told him I was a nurse & I can't move him & I also was not strong enough to lift him to get the belt off.

Thats when the great bungy cord that didn't get taken out of the van came into play! (Thank you Lord!) Jeff grabs it & came running. Bless Barrys heart-he is telling us both we can do it, it has to be done or he will bleed to death. Don't worry about hurting him. Thats why I say what a comfort he was to us!!!

So Jeff put it around Barrys leg & we are begging for the Lords helping hands to do this. I'm trying to pull my side of the cord but I keep a greenstick break in my left forearm from the initial accident, so my strength isn't always 100% in it. Jeff told me to pull it hard, and I said I couldn't.  I'm sorry, that I just couldn't pull it as hard as Jeff or it needed to be to help him. We just needed help pulling on the bungy cord...

God sent someone...a man & I believe his wife stopped in a white p/u truck and asked if everyone was ok & if we needed help. We both yelled "Yes we do! Please, hurry!"  This man helped Jeff pull this cord until the ems arrived (which always seems like forever) But ems/FD told Jeff they wanted him to keep pulling it until they got him on a gurny & into the ambulance, where they took over.They didn't want the degree of pressure Jeff & this man were applying to be changed until they were able to take over fully. I know the mans wife/girlfriend stayed with Michelle mostly & I think she even moved her leg out from behind her."

Again...wow. The doctors told us many times that medically, my dad should have died that night. They said that when the femoral artery is torn, the patient can bleed out within 3 minutes. Three minutes. Those three minutes were the difference between life and death for my dad, and someone just so "happened" to be there seconds after the accident happened. That someone just so "happened" to have had a similar experience years ago, almost to the date. That someone "happened" to have training as a nurse, and they "happened" to have a bungy cord in their van to wrap around my dad's bleeding leg. Then when she could barely hold the cord any longer and was crying for help, a truck just "happened" to appear. To this day we have asked every single person who was on the scene that night who that other couple was who helped them, and the only people who even remember them being there are Jeff and Rhonda. Many said that there was no one else, and that there was no truck or anything. After months of searching and asking, we decided to stop and accept it for what it was: I believe they were angels, along with Rhonda and Jeff. Sent to the right place, at the right time.

The miracles didn't stop there. In the weeks that followed the accident, my dad overcame infections, numerous surgeries, dependency on the ventilator, brain damage, fevers, pain, therapy, and so much more. We even had a special Christmas miracle - he was able to come home just days before Christmas. It was so special.

Four years ago today, we were able to meet Jeff and Rhonda face-to-face. They came to the hospital one night once dad was out of the ICU and coherent. We were complete strangers, but when they walked in the door, we couldn't even get two words out before we all began to cry. It was such an emotional moment for us to meet the people who helped save my dad's life, but it was also emotional for them to see him alive after seeing seeing his body mangled. After they left the hospital, I took them over to the rehab center where Michelle was at the time, so they could meet. After leaving that night to drive home, I cranked my car, and a song started to play. That song was none other than "Angels Among Us" by Alabama. I cried the whole drive home, but they were tears of happiness and thankfulness.

I'm aware that not everyone's tragedies have a good ending like ours did, but please know that God makes beautiful things from ashes. In life's darkest moments is when his grace shines brightest. Through my own personal heartaches, many people say it would have been easy to turn my back on God. It would have been easier to take matters into my own hands. But hear me friends - that would have been the hardest thing for me to do, because without Jesus, I could not have taken one more step or breathed one more breath. My faith and hope in Him were the only things that could get me through each day.

Whatever you may be facing this holiday season: the loss of a loved one, watching someone you love been eaten away by diseases or addictions, a recent divorce, a lack of finances to buy Christmas presents, or spending it in a hospital... God is still there. You're only one step away from home and from the strength and hope you need to face the day. And best of all - there are angels among us - and you never know when you will meet them.

Merry Christmas, y'all!

~Shelby